by Peter Shaffer


The sensitive and inexperienced Bob has asked a girl out for the first time. He asks his worldly-wise friend Ted to help him to make a good impression on her – a disastrous idea, which leads to a heart-rending tangle of misunderstandings, hurt emotions, and lost hopes.



Photos of 'The Private Ear'



Extract from the script 'The Private Ear'

Doreen: I'm not too early?
Bob: No, just right. [Bob shuts the door] Actually, it's only just half past. You're very punctual.
Doreen: Unpunctuality's the thief of time, as my dad says.
Bob: To coin a phrase.
Doreen: Pardon?
Bob: Let me take your coat.
Doreen: Thank you. [She slips it off.]
Bob: [Taking the coat]: That's pretty.
Doreen: D'you like it?
Bob: I do, yes. Is it real? I mean real leopard.
Doreen: It's ocelot.
Bob: Oh! [Imitating Ted] Very chic.
Doreen: Pardon?